ashiteru...

I’ve been awaiting for your appearance,
But you never occur;
I’ve been pending for an answer,
But you never reply;
I’ve been searching for your shadow,
But you never show it;
I’ve been missing you all the moments,
But you never miss it;
I’ve been looking at you from every corner,
But you never turn around;
I’ve been holding my feelings,
But you just threw it like a rubbish.
Ashiteru….

week10....

it has been a long long way to go... i get very exhausted... my face became so dull and lack of laughter.... i wanted a long rest... but.... i don't think i can rest until the end of the semester... haiz.... what to do... this is call life....

that incident has passed about one month...
but i cant really erase that bad memory,
although its just s short moment....
i've noticed the true reality of human...
i've found out that human is always that fake....
i've known that the truth is always harsh to people...
why must it like that?
do you know how unfair it is to be treated like that?
you will not realise as you did not experience it....
just let it go.... and live your own life....

你走吧！

我想把你忘得一干二净。请你离开吧。不要在我身边走来走去。快走快走！！ 滚滚！！ 快滚!! 别再这样着折磨我。就当作我拜托你。谢谢。

what kind of human am i?
am i a human??
what kind of insect am i ?
am i an insect?
what kind of animal am i?
am i an animal?
i don't know....
i have an honour to be a human,
because god created me...
i have an honour to give,
because god send me to give....
i have an honour to receive,
because god receive help....
i have an honour to love,
because god love me...
i, a human who is pleased with everything i had...
i, do not have to change because im borned to be such a human....
i, a human with humanity....
filled with love and care....
a human!!

pls....

hey, come on... im not in a mood to fight with you... why must you end our conversation with an argument? i don't like that... please.... i had enough of that... i had my patience up to a limit already.... ok?? don't get me out of my control.... i don't feel like quarrel with anyone can u just tolerate with me?? just once?? please..... haiz....

being so, im tired....
being so, im exhausted...
being so, i quit....

im back...

have been a moment i din write my blog... i was very busy recently i guess... or can say... im doing nothing... except stressing myself... or relaxing myself all around... doing stuff that are being forced... im about to lose my breath... am i dying? i don't know... i wouldn't want to know... do u know why? i, myself don't even know what had happen to me.... feeling barred? feeling bored, feeling crazy, feeling mounted.... feeling undescridable.... feeling nothing except heavy heartbeats... i'm smiling and laughing everyday... i am happy!! but i am uncertain in a way.... with friends, i can laugh without reasons but when i was alone, i will cry and go mad without reason.... hoho... do i need to go to counselling centre or for any treatment? currently, i can feel there is a large flame in my heart... it can blow anytime.... i hope that flame will not hurt anyone... i will keep that flame to myself... so, friends, don't worry... i will not hurt all of you... i promise....

你的身影。

你知道吗？
你让我好想念。我不曾那么想念，我也不曾那么寂寞。
自从你的出现，我懂了寂寞这个字。我也懂了什么叫等待。
我好想，好想。在你的生命中，点燃你的世界。
我。真的。好想，你的声音，你的微笑，你的鼓励，你的每一个动作。
我会谅解的。安心吧！